~~~Prego~~~

Have you ever reached that time in your life when you realize that now you have no where to go but forward. Yeah, well thats not alwayse the easiers way to go. Morning Sickness, Body changes, Hormone Changes, Constantly tired, and these are just to name a few of the trees that grow alongside the forward road. Well its official my husband and I are with child. As of the picture my child is .6in long and 8 weeks old. WHOOT!!! Ok so lets go back to the trees. I have had several friends that were pregnate and they enjoyed their whole pregnancy. They had the amazing glow, the funny cravings, and the little baby burps. No No No thats not how this one is working. I have deffinately noticecd that pregnancy is a test of your faith. Nothing more, nothing less.

First we have the Morning Sickness. The worse it is the worse you feel all day, but when the right steps are taken to keep a healthy body, sickness isnt so bad. Now here in lies the problem. Have you ever had the flu? Remember eating with the flu? Morning sickness is alot like the flu, without the fever. I mean alike in every other possible way...literally. I know that the minute my body comes to an awake state....I have possibly 2 minutes tops. In these two minutes prayer and the fetal position about all i can do. After that some time spent sitting down in a shower tends to help. My faith is tested every morning when I get up. Let me tell you, It hurts. Its easy to turn around and blame God for the pain you feel or sickness you have. You cant. God told us that there would be pain in childbirth. Knowing what I know in just 2 months, that doesn't just mean during delivery and labor.

Next we have the body changes. I was a total of 105lbs with my clothes and shoes on and 5'2 flat on the ground, this weight was around 6 weeks( the time you find out positive or negative on a test). I had my first ultrasound on the 8th of August and I weighed 107lbs... 2 lbs 2months. At this rate my baby is starting to double in size....so double 2lbs in 2months. 8lbs 4months. I know I know the math is a little crazy but believe me at my tiny body size I have thought alot about THAT change. I have noticed that my hair grows alot faster... I'm not going to complain!!!!! I was blessed with the Pregnancy Glow. That means that all the extra oil my body is producing isnt turning into major prego acne. I notice that as my body is changing its getting itchier where the skin is stretching. In all my research I have found that Vitamin E lotion is the best cure.

I will try to keep up on this the best I can as I go through my pregnancy. Thanks for Reading.

...Marriage...

So as of May 21, 2011 I no longer have my own space or my own stuff. I didn't think adjusting was going to be this hard, I mean come on the guy is my best friend it will be like one big sleepover every night. WRONG. Now my nights have gone from nice relaxing slumber with my pets at my sides to waking up to the wronchiest breath I have ever had, and I don't mean the dog :). Dont get me wrong there are so many more good things about being married than there are bad things; for instance, I am in no way shape, form, blessing, or gifted in the area of cooking. I have literally burned cold cereal...yep set a bowl on a burning stove and burned it! My husband is an amazing cook with a very creative mind. Another area is, i tend to be a little loose on my house cleaning habits. My husband on the other hand has minor OCD. A match made in Heaven :). There are more pros that I refuse to get into ;) but all in all being married has been an amazing bond that God has blessed. I might get the stinky breath or the waaaaaayyyyyy to hot nights, but in the end I thank God for the companion he has placed in my life. Im thankful for the life he has been able to create for me and the life that he invisions. Im thankful that he is a man who has a soul, heart, and mind that wants to serve God and no one else. For the first time I am comforted by the idea that I come second in my husbands life.

My Life Soundtrack

Made to Love - Toby Mac

Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carslie

Who Am I - Casting Crowns

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman

To think of how to describe my life in the form of music is like breathing for me!!! Music in its own is a life style for me. Well here goes:

Birth

I guess in thinking the song that would best fit my birth would be Made to Love - Toby Mac. The chorus says,

"I was made to love You I was made to find You, I was made just for You, Made to adore You, I was made to love, And be loved by You, You were here before me, You were waiting on me, And you said you'd keep me, Never would you leave me, I was made to love, and be loved by You."

I'm not completely sure if this is what this whole song means, but in my life these lyrics mean just what they say. I was made for God. I was made to love him with everything I have. God brought me to this earth to adore him as my only God. NO matter what would happen God will love me. He was there in the beginning and will be there in the end. Alpha and Omega.

Childhood

Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carslie is the song that best fits m childhood. Its about a father and his daughter and how he watches her grow up. The only problem with this fitting me is that for a lot of my childhood my father was not able to be there. My father was a truck driver, until i was about 17 he would be gone for months and months at a time. The song starts with

"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride. I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."

I remember the first time I rode a horse. I cried until my father came and held my hand it was than that I never wanted to get off the horse. I baked my father a cake... I guess bak is the wrong term to use. I attempted might be better. I wanted to make my gather a cake because I noticed that my mother had the box. So I spend 10 min before my father came home from a over-the-road excursion. Well i took it mixed it with water, stuck it in a bowl and though i was going to surprise him.

The rest of the song is about this father watching his daughter grow up, and watching her start her own life.

Teen years

The song I picked for this part of my life is Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman. I took serveral dance classes throughout my teen years due to the fact that my life consisted of Figure Skating. Whenever I had to lean a new dance, the first person I wanted to show was my father. Whenever he came home from work the first thing I would say was "Daddy wanna see my new dance" My mother was my support in everything I did. It was mainly just me and her. We were the best of friends. She took me to every Skating competition and practice. Every ballet practice, and every gymnastics practice. To be without her was something that never once crossed my mind.

Adult

Who Am I - Casting Crowns is the song that best describes my "so far" adult life. Now that I am older I have the ability to decided for my self what Is right and Wrong, Lie and Truth. The one think I had troubles with for the longest time was trying to find out Who I was. I still struggle with it from time to time as situations in my life change. But over all I have been able to come to the conclusion that I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH. I AM A PRINCESS TO THE ONE AND ONLY KING.

Clay

When a potter starts a new piece, he starts with a ugly lifeless lump of clay. He than takes this lump and sets it perfectly on his wheel. Next he dabs water on it here and there to make it wet and goopy (he will also put some on his hands) Now with steady crafty hands he spins the wheel and molds the clay till it takes on form and takes on a new shape. Now that clay was just fine the way it was before, it wasn't harming anything it wasn't in anyones way, but the potter saw that it had a potential to be more, to be something beautiful. When we think we have our life just the way we want it and everything is perfectly going our way, God takes it and puts it on his potters wheel, dumps water on it to make it soft and reshapes it to what he wants it to be. We were created with the ability to make choices of our own. We have the ability to look at the clay and decide weather it should be a bowl of a vase. Either way that clay is going to be made into something that someone can use. This is what God does with his children. We come to him a shapeless lump of clay that has no purpose and no place, just to exist. When we are put in the Potter's hands suddenly we start to show purpose, to show life. When we receive Christ as our savior it is like the potter putting the clay on the wheel. As the wheel starts to move water is added. These are the tears that are shed to show the trials and tribulations we encounter. We all know that it is never easy being a child of God while we reside here on Earth. With the tears we are broken down and soften. When we are at our weakest point, face down in the mud and no where else to go, That is when He can really start to shape us into something useful. Every now and than we get dry and we think we are exactly where we need to be, again the Potter will add more water and make the clay more workable. Not every lump of clay is made into the same thing. Some are made into Vases, some bowls, some cups, some are even made into statues. Not every Christian is made into the same thing either. We have our Pastors, our teachers, our singers, and our missionaries. Each one serving there own purpose in the China cabinet that is our Fathers house.

God-Shaped Hole

When we call to you with hearts of praise,

our eyes are opened to brighter days.

When we lift our voice in exaltation to you,

we can look to heaven and see a glorious view.

Our very destiny you do hold.

A wondrous future you promised and told.

A broken past you stitch and re-mold.

Upon your shoulders you take my hearts load.

Every mark a reminder of a past gone wrong,

every tear I shed, why do I cry so long?

All pain is gone, your love still there.

Do you know how long it will take to fix this tear?

A God sent angel, a blessing in disguise.

You know the true me, the life in my eyes.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

You somehow still love me.

Knowing I have lied.

God's true love poured out from your soul,

you showed me how to fill this God-shaped hole.

Life

So I know in a blog you’re supposed to pretty much say what's on your mind. Well on my mind lately has been the topic of life...just life in general the starting of it, the process of how someone’s life plays out, and evens the end. Let's see here so I guess to start at the beginning would be...too far. So I will start at the beginning of my New York adventure.

This is how it begins!!!!!!

So life has a way of taking you down some roads that aren't the best for traveling. It’s when we choose to take the path less traveled that we learn and grow. Well some incidents happened in my life that forced me to realize that I needed to start somewhere where I could find out who I was. So I decided to take it up with Google. I typed "Christian Colleges in the U.S" and hit the search button. This was the listing of Addresses that came up

1. http://www.davisny.edu/

2. http://www.pcci.edu/

3. http://www.wheaton.edu/

4. http://www.crown.edu/

5. http://www.concordia.edu/

This was the top 5 results of my search...what do you see when you type in my search...deferentially not this list. Well I chose the first one on the list and knew music was my aim. I clicked on Davis and found there music program to be kinda eye catching—and their campus very beautiful. This searched happened on June 20, 2009 and by July 17, 2009 I was sitting in Binghamton, NY, some 2000 miles away from my home in Missoula, MT. I WAS SCARED!!!!! At first I lived with a host family that was very kind and generous, but I saw that life would be a lot easier on me if I lived in the dorms. So my mother decided to get me a dorm room. Life started to get easier...sort of. I was hit kinda hard with some depression and homesickness but I guess that was to be expected. Some incidents in September led me to meet an amazing man of God, Andrew Lee Mitzel. Well I ended up falling in love with this man’s heart and his steadfast will to serve God no matter what sacrifices need be made. Life in NY started to get a lot easier. I had someone who would help keep me spiritually accountable but at the same time love me and keep me under his protection. Three months later the start of a new year brings in the continuation of an amazing fellowship with this man. On December 31, 2009 Andrew will be flying into Missoula, Montana to see my side of life. I’m nervous and excited. I choose to embrace the butterflies. Come January 11, 2009 I start the second semester of my freshman year at Davis Bible College and I have never been happier with my life. I love the people God has surrounded me with but I also miss the ones he gave me and allowed me to keep.


So in all this is my life since I have left Missoula, Montana. Coming home and seeing my friends and family has been nice and it has been amazing but I will be glad to get back to school and get back to the everyday life of the "College Student".

Pondered

You never really know what you have in your life till its gone from you for either a short time or forever. You tend to realize how much people mean when there not in your life anymore. Take your parents for instance. We live the first entire half of our lives with them. Than come one day we decided to leave, its during our absence that we realize how much our parents really meant to us. When we loose a loved one weather to death or to the realization of no compatibility you start to remember the things about that person that really made your day and just made you laugh and smile. Some things were not meant to make up the aspects of your life. Those things cause unresolvable conflict. They become the haunting burden you face every time you close your eyes. Coming home and starting the New Year, I want to start over. Remove everything from my life that is burdened and resolve anything that is unresolved. Where forgiveness is asked there shall it be received.